there was a trapeze. enough said
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
