awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
