I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
