HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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