Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
