the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
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