I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
