you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
