you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
