There r osticjed everywhere
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
