He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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