You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
