Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
