Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
You smell like stripper and shame
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
