You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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