just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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