I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
