FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
