She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
