I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
