So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
