oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Randomize
