Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
The beer is more important than you right now.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
