I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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