dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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