officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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