party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
She announced her abortion via fbk
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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