I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
