I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
