i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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