all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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