He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
