I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
