Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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