mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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