Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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