Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
