last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Mom said you looked used
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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