Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
