the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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