I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
