I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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