Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
