the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
