I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
