Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
