I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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