Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
