i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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