I like to think it a success when the cops are called
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
