if you like me you must not know who I am
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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