i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
