i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
